I’ll Be Your Smoothie Queen

For the longest, I absolutely hated smoothies. Like ugghhhhhh, the thought of them made my skin crawl. I mean, its pretty much baby food for adults, but whatever. For me, it was always a weird consistency thing – very similar to yogurts and puddings – all of which I loathe. However, being well aware of all the health benny’s smoothies offer, I knew at some point in my life I just had to grow up and suck it up. Argh.


Normally when I think of smoothies, I envision a clusterf*ck of mangos and apples and strawberries – every fruit you can think of. But I’m not a huge fan of all that super duper sweet stuff. No seriously, I was the kid who still had Halloween candy from the year prior – so I knew a super sweet fruity-based smoothie wasn’t going to be my jam. Nope.

One day I went to this market, very similar to a Whole Foods, and ordered a smoothie. I was all like, “what the hell….I’ll order the damn smoothie. And it better be good because this shit is $8.” By the way, why are smoothies so damn expensive?! Anyway, I can’t really remember the name of the smoothie, but I think it was called “The Hulk” or something like that. And nope, I’m not talking about that nasty concoction y’all used to drink in college either (Hypnotic + Henny =???). Much to my surprise, this particular smoothie was pretty damn good. So per my usual D-I-Y self (y’all I literally try to make everythinggggg), I went home and tried to re-create the damn smoothie, and honestly, have been doing so ever since!


Yea, it’s green and all, which might turn you off. But I’m here to tell you, it’s good AF. If you like bananas, you’ll like this smoothie. If you want to give it a shot, below is what you’ll need!

the hulk smoothie 2

  • A cup of spinach
  • A cup of kale (a supergreen, yay!)
  • 1 banana
  • 1 cup of almond milk (or whatever kind of milk you like, i.e., soy, coconut, etc.)
  • A little bit of blue agave (or any sweetener you like – I’ve also used honey and syrup before)
  • A couple of cubes of ice
  • A handful of blueberries (when I’m really feelin’ fancy)

That’s it! I imagine you can adjust the sweetener as you see fit, just in case you want it to be a little bit sweeter. I wouldn’t use too much though – but I’m also the type of person to bake blueberry muffins at 2 am soooooo, who am I to judge, right? I also like this smoothie because you can add whatever you want – like mangos or pineapples, etc. I really don’t think you can go wrong!

I hope this helps!




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